Do I Still Get Nervous?

I have been asked several times if I still get nervous before I dance. My answer is ... it depends: who am I dancing for and what constitutes "nervous"?

Let's start with the latter

What Constitutes Nervous?

There is nervous energy which is a good thing. You need it to give that little bit of extra energy into your dance. It's not debilitating, it doesn't make you uncomfortable, it really is just energy. Most of us can cope with this level of nervousness as it is actually quite invigorating.

Then there is actually being nervous. You may feel butterflies, get an adrenaline rush or even just get fidgety in the minutes or hours just before the performance. Some dancers will even experience stage fright right before a show.

Story: We once had a dancer who got mild stage fright (I say mild because she didn't actually freeze, she just didn't like feeling nervous) and so she would take a mild tranquilliser before the show. Bad Idea! The tranquillisers have a negative affect on your performance. You lose connection with your audience and you lose the power in your expression.

The highest level is anxiety. This is when you are anxious for days, weeks, even months before. You may experience nausea, a racing heart beat, the shakes and sleeplessness leading up to the performance. It may even increase as you get closer to D-day. It's very uncomfortable and can often make you want to give up or cancel as the feeling is too much to bare.

If you feel this level of anxiety for all performances and it doesn't abate with experience, I suggest you seek professional help. There may be more behind it than just being afraid of performing.

Who am I Dancing for?

If I'm dancing at a restaurant, party or corporate event for lay people then I don't really get nervous. They are not going to critique my technique, and I'm there to entertain and create atmosphere. I do have that surge of nervous energy, but I'm not nervous. I'm energised.

The idea of dancing in front of other belly dancers is more nerve wracking for me. They have knowledge of the dance and will look at technique and the choreography, and have an educated opinion. I can still cope fine with this level of nerves. I might have to take a few deep breaths to relax, but it's not crippling.

Dancing in front of big names is another story. It makes me very anxious (not just nervous). It starts months before hand and slowly increases until I dance. Sleeplessness nights, nightmares... All because I'm nervous about dancing in front of people who are actually normal people, they just happen to be awesome dancers. This time last year I was preparing to not only dance in Cape Town in front of hundreds of dancers from all over, but also to dance a duet with Melanie in a competition. My first belly dance competition ever (one day I'll write about why I don't do competitions to explain this). I was a nervous wreck. Unfortunately, I never made it to the festival as I ended up in the cardiac ICU with acute pericarditis the same weekend of the competition. My life is never straight forward or boring.

In 16 days I'm leaving to go on an intensive training retreat (Purple Belly Bus) and I am anxious about it. I'll be dancing with people from across South Africa and be training with 2 of the biggest names in the country. I've had nightmares about not being ready, having my bags stolen with all my clothes and props in, being scolded for thinking I deserve to be on the retreat, and more. All so very silly.

9 days later I'm off again for TODF, where I'll be dancing in front of hundreds of people and training with local and international stars. That makes me just as anxious. Even more so that I'm not 100% prepared in my solo and I'm still trying to make my costume (Beverli, you didn't read this part).

So, to answer the question "Do you still get nervous?" - Yes.